The downfall of Valanax & The rising of another!

It began as a normal day, peaceful day. Valanax, Nimorrax and Seishou were discussing battle
plans in the chapel, "The templars are getting stronger each passing day! We must act!"
demanded Seishou "What? Can you not see that would be suicide! As you said they grow stronger
each day, we cannot muster up and army big enough for such a battle!" yelled Valanax, as the
two argued Nimorrax stood there shaking his head "Gentlemen Enough!!" Screamed Nimorrax "Do
you think we're going to win any battle with you two at each other's throat like this?", they
both turned to Nimorrax "Mmm, yes, sorry Nimorrax" they said "Right well now that you two are
done, I think we need a plan!" nodded Nimorrax. Many hours later they had come to an
agreement "So then, we all agree that this is a plan worthy to use?" Spoke Nimorrax, they
both nodded in agreement "Good then, Seishou gather the the ops, we may need someone on the
inside!" Demanded Nimorrax "Aye Nimorrax, I'll get right on it!" said Seishou as he left the
room "Now Valanax! I want you to lead a strike force!" "Me? Are you sure?" Gasped Valanax
"Yes Valanax, I have trust in you! Don't fail! Now get moving".

(Skipping the time where they gatherd the forces, they now prepare for war!"

A week has passed, Valanax and Nimorax sat at the fire "Valanax, did you do as I asked?" said
Nimorrax "Yes Nim, the forces are prepared and ready!" Replied Valanax "Good then, we shall
march at sun-rise" said Nimorrax as he went to stand up "Wait! What of Seishou?" Valanax
jumped up "Seishou has done what I asked, they have set up near the Templars base camp,
Infact we should hear from them any time now" awnserd Nimorrax "Also Nim, I've intrusted a
good friend of mine, Velex, he's a noble warrior, he shall meet us here at sun-rise" spoke
Valanax as he began to walk away "Very well, the more the merrier I guess" replied Nimorrax,
"Alright then Nim, I'm going to get some rest.." "Very well Vala".

The morning has come, the sun is rising and the sound of war echo's in the air. As they
marched, they saw the Templars, ready, strong and prepared "Halt!" Yelled Valanax "Nim, look
at this, do you think we stand a chance against these beasts? We are highly outnumberd!"
"Valanax, I have trust and faith in our men! We shall stand till we die!" Said Nimorrax "You
would put us & our men at risk for your bloody vengence? What has come over you!" "Vengence?
That has nothing to do with this! If we didn't strike first then what? They'd get the upper
hand? If you do not wish to be here Valanax then I'd suggest you leave!" Nim replied in an
angerd tone "Yes, I guess you are correct, but Nimorrax, Have you yet heard from Seishou or
any of the ops?" questioned Valanax "No, not of late, but as I've said, I have trust in
them!". "Men and women, you stand here today proud, noble and valliant, the time has come for
you to prove your worth, stand up and fight! For the greater good!" Nimorrax yelled, there
was silence, the whole field had gone dead quite, just of then the horn of war blew "CHARGE!"
Valanax yelled at the top of his voice, Valanax thought to himself ont here wherabouts of
Velex, it was quickly over as they marched onwards into the fleet of Templars, just then they
heard another horn go off, t'was Seishou and the ops, like a flash of smoke the appeard out
of no where, they began annihilate packs of templars.

As the battle continued, many of undead and templars had fallen victim to the blades of
others, as it was a clean sweep, the Forbidden had won this battle, well.. it would have been
if not for the Templars reinforcements, Nimorrax stood there looking towards the hill the
crowds of Templars were pouring down on "Fall back brothers!" Yelled Valanax, just then as
they turned to retriet they saw a vast fleet of undead being lead by Velex charge towards the
battle, the Forbidden now knew that this battle was far from over. Even tho the Forbidden had
a large army the Templars still held there ground, then it happend.. Valanax turned around to
help Velex who was being outnumberd a templar with his sword in the air, drove it straight
into Valanax, Velex stood there in shock as he watched his old friend being killed. With
revenge in his heart Velex ran to the Templar and drove his blade into his neck, the Templars
began to realize that they were being run down so they decided to retriet.
Velex kneeled down beside the body of Valanax "Come on old buddy! This isn't how you want to
go! COME ON!" yelled Velex, but there was nothing he could do, Valanax was deceased. Nimorrax
knelt besides Velex "Come, we must hurry back, I have no doubt the Templars will return.. In
larger numbers". Velex yelled with a bloody vengence "This is not the end! You will pay!!
RRRAWR", they picked up Valanax's body and took him back the City.

The next day they held the funeral for Valanax, it was Valanax's wish to be cremated not
burried. They had all gatherd by the fire as they watched the body of a hero burn before
them, they each spoke words about him, tales that would be forever lasting. Nimorrax had
walked up to Velex "I know.. I know how you feel, Valanax was a good friend, but I want you
to know that you will always have a home here" Velex nodded at Nimorrax.

(( Ok so that was alot of writing, this is my first backstory, ever! Well actually its not really a backstory.. It's like.. The climax to the tale of Velex. So please do point out any points that are 'Wrong' but don't flame me, if you flame me I'll troll you.. FOREVER! ))

It's really good, I like the battle-heavy stories =D. But, you should try giving the dialogue some space, when it's all jumbled up like that, it's harder to read.

I have started writing the next story.
Heres a sneek preview:

Velex walks into Erebos' house "Hello? Anyone here? Hmph, guess not" as Velex moves upstairs he trips on something, a book "Oh, what have we here?" the book has a demonic pack symbol on the front cover, Velex opens the book slowly "Wha? The pages are filled with all these werid words, what are they some kind of spell?" Velex thinks for a second "Hmm, this might come in handy!" Velex leaves the house with the book in his bag.

Could this be a hint in a change for Velex? Will we RULE THE WORLD? Or will the book turn out to be a cook book? Who knows?

Um.. Ok so this topic was just like.. For the death of Vala and the introduction of velex. So locking this topic and starting a new one with velex's adventures.